That there was such a thing as a holistic bitch?

Holistic means:

  • Emphasizing the importance of the whole and the interdependence of its parts.

  • and the grammatical correct for the term bitch is a female dog. well in this case we are talking about a female. she happens to be the 4th parent –_- yes i said forth because I have mom and dad, and the step rents. the step rents can be beyond words. they make it sound like everything is about them and that if it isnt the way they want it well then it is wrong, they stress day in and day out even when things are going right for them. and it really bothers me. the problem is that no one is happy. it blows my mind and it makes me want to cry even further.

    now im sure you all are tired of listening to me bitch, moan and complain, but seriously she needs to hush around me or im going to snap. im at that point in life where anything she complains, bitches, whines about bothers me, I really can not stand it because its in that same little urky little voice… It annoys the fuck out of me and i want it gone. then they wonder wth i dont ever go to my fathers house. I mean it is kinda hard to do anything when even at the age of 20. Im not allowed to leave the house, let alone go to my bedroom. not allowed to leave the house without parental consent/parental supervision. hell I cant even go outside –_- because there is nothing out there to do apparently. ever think that I like to just go outside and watch the clouds go by or just veg. out in the yard? to get questioned about why im going to my bedroom its ridiculous  mean ill go where i please. I know the places in the house i am and aren’t allowed to go to. soooo stfu…

    I really enjoy my peaceful room but now even thats going to be lived in with my sister –_- im screwed. I live in my room and now I have to deal with another kid, another mouth. I warned her that I was not going to change my habits of staying up late and talking to friends and listening to music. its my life so stay away from it. im ur sister i know i should be your friend but i dont want to be. its hard on me to be social when i have people up my ass all the time. its either with my sisters or my brother, or more recently with my parents. I mean im getting charged 25 dollars a week to live at my moms house because of my step dad.

    this shit has been on my mind really bothering me a lot more then i know it should but its life and I rather it not be like this. I wanna be happy with him, thats it, but no i cant even get peace in my head. the thoughts are out to get me ><’’’